


a little brighter now

by jingi



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Moonlight, Sunsets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 21:18:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7986550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jingi/pseuds/jingi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>even if tomorrow's darkness takes a bite out of the moon i'll still have you || Time and beauty play different rules when it comes to Jongdae.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a little brighter now

How is it that some moments can feel fleeting and almost infinite at the same time, Jongin wonders. What is it about moments like these, where the rays of light from the setting sun break the air of dusk or shine through unclean windows, that make a limited amount of seconds seem to move quickly and slowly simultaneously? 

Sunsets themselves, whether it’s those faint pastel gradients in hazy skies or the radiant ones that paint clouds shining oversaturated colors or even a mix of both, change every minute and Jongin feels like he has to watch the whole thing because he doesn’t want to miss the most beautiful part. At those parts -- the most beautiful ones where you lose your breath for a second because you know it can’t be recreated in any form or in any time again -- he freezes and just stares at whatever setting has happened to come into existence, drinking it in with his eyes beyond satiation and yet staring more and more because it doesn’t feel like there’s an _enough_ possible. Then the colors shift, just slightly at first and then rapidly within the next minute, and it feels like time’s ticking at a new pace.

Jongin’s always liked finding beautiful things, hidden or not, amongst the cruelty of the world. It doesn’t have to have much meaning; just seeing the faded white moon at some point in the same blue sky as the sun was nice. The same things he noticed and loved as a kid still appear now, and they haven’t lost their luster.

The difference now is that Jongdae is here with him. These moments that don’t follow the rules multiply when Jongdae is involved. When they walk together on the street to go somewhere in the evening and that evening sunlight gets tangled in Jongdae’s hair and his smile; when they watch a movie at home and it’s a good time to sleep but the extra glow from the moon falls through the window and glimmers on Jongdae’s cheeks; when Jongin hasn’t slept more than a few hours but Jongdae’s head against his shoulder isn’t that uncomfortable because it’s Jongdae, right here with him; at these times, Jongin’s breath still gets caught in his throat and that warm feeling starts in his torso, and he feels everything in a second that feels like half an hour but still might slip away too fast. 

Jongdae always says that Jongin’s handsome and too good-looking for him. Even now it still makes Jongin blush, but no matter how many times he tells Jongdae to look at himself he knows Jongdae can’t see himself the way Jongin does. He doesn’t know how to explain it in words and he’s not one to say too many sentences at once, so he doesn’t have the capability to try to tell Jongdae. Jongin tries saying it in the way he holds onto Jongdae at night because Jongdae’s warmth helps him sleep better than cool sheets and fifteen fluffy pillows; the way he gently runs his hands through Jongdae’s silky hair and presses soft kisses to that curvy smile and the constellations of moles on Jongdae’s face and back; the way he sometimes tries to sing to Jongdae when the older boy is sleepy and asks him to. 

It’s not that Jongdae doesn’t know what he means to Jongin, but even if Jongin could say “I love you” constantly it probably wouldn’t be enough to describe how much Jongin’s feelings can surge. There have been times when it’s Jongdae who saves Jongin from another night of no sleep and his own thoughts -- where sometimes Jongin admits out loud that it’s really difficult and Jongdae, small tiny Jongdae wraps his arms around Jongin and pulls him close, stroking away the tears that might fall; it’s Jongdae’s low, warm voice that comforts him the most and Jongdae’s hugs and touches that save so much of him, even if sometimes it feels so good that all of this can’t possibly be real. Even if it happens to all be a dream, just having this extended dream where Jongdae exists and has chosen _Jongin_ is good fortune.

There’s always a sense of nervousness Jongin feels -- usually only slightly, but it’s still there lurking -- a fear that the sunsets will all turn the same and stop being so beautiful, or that the moon won’t show up during the night or day and it’ll be a constant new moon, invisible and seemingly gone. Jongin’s much more scared that one day Jongdae won’t be there with him and that he won’t have Jongdae’s fingers holding onto his. He doesn’t say this out loud much because it’s mostly silly, but there are times he does because he knows Jongdae will chastise Jongin for it and press a kiss to his temple. Jongdae’s voice, laugh, touch, comfort -- a single part of Jongdae alone is so much, but no matter how close Jongdae is Jongin can never have enough. So he drinks it in, happy knowing that Jongdae will last much longer than a sunset.

**Author's Note:**

> i have not written anything much in a while let alone this style (hella imagery and jongdae worship) so no im not pretending this is good i just wanted to write smth for myself for fun. also more jongdae worship is always good


End file.
